Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Brian's LiveJournal:

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Tuesday, September 20th, 2005
10:41 am	MANAYUNK THIS SATURDAY I WILL BE HAVING THE FINAL PARTY AT MY HOUSE. IM MOVING OUT NEXT MONTH. EVERYONE IS INVITED. 4715 SMICK STREET MANAYUNK PA. Take 76 East twords philly and get of at exit 338. It's the Green Lane Belmont Ave exit. Make a left at the first light at the exit ramp. Cross the bridge and make a left at the next light onto Main Street Make a right at the next light onto Leverington. Make a left at the following light onto Umbria. Pass two stop signs and make an immediate left onto wright street(A narrow street that looks like it's one way but not.) Park yo ride in that lot right of off wright street and walk back up the way you came. Cross Umbria and walk up the hill right in front of you (Wright street still) Once you get to the top my house will be right in front of your face. Be there!!! Current Music: Nulla in Mundo Pax Sincera (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, September 18th, 2005
11:49 pm	THE HEART: What we are all good at denying the existance of in all of us. THE HEART: What YOU destroyed. THE HEART: Is now fear not love. THE HEART: Shrinks not grows. THE HEART: Fails THE HEART: Beats.........you. THE HEART: Fades THE HEART: Is gone.... I just finished a new album. Can you guess what I named it? In a sense it's about what we all have become as a whole. At least to my observations. I wrote the words while I was on tour with NDSWHOA. Over that stressful time period a lot went through my mind. Not just about the tour but everything. As you can tell it wasn't the happiest of thoughts, but, this is my way of putting it behind me and making something good out of it. I wrote it all about two months ago. Listen to it. Bye bye. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, September 7th, 2005
12:48 am	Truth is... So how have I been? Well lets see... Impatient? Um...lost? De-fucking-pressed again? Well not nearly as bad as before. But still I shouldn't feel this way. I want to leave home. Kinda. I feel like there is nothing left for me here. Over the past few months I've lost lots. I've also witnessed a few others go through much loss. This is Pain City. I need to leave it in both senses. SO... I'm working as hard as I can with the bands I'm in at the moment. It's leaning more twords the one with the boys at home. Mainly cuz I don't have to write basically everything so it's just more enjoyable and I've known these cats my whole lives so it's really comfortable. Not that I don't find pleasure in the other band, it's just frustrating sometimes. Mainly I guess cuz the other dudes are still in school. And other dumb shit. I dunno man. I'm sick of not being able to do what I've been wanting to do since fucking middle school. It always feels like I have to wait for people. There's nothing left for my here and I'm simply tired of waiting when I now what is right in front of my face. What can I say. I'm a picky fuck when it comes to bands. I've been in countless and played with countless. I hate feeling this bitter. I despise it. I know what I want. Like I said: fuck waiting anymore. Thats all I ever do. I put shit off. I (we're) never work hard enough at this. Nah, no more of that crap. I've got shit to loose this time. No more girlfriend, my mom hates me when I'm at the house, people seem to keep dying, I work everyday, blah blah blah.... This is it man. I've had it. I'm sick of the wait. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, August 28th, 2005
8:09 pm	Somebody save us. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, July 27th, 2005
11:03 am	Just a reminder: I just got back from a about a months worth of tour all across the US temporary playing guitar for this crazy band NSDwhoa. Check them out on www.paperstreetrecords.com. Anyways I'm broke as hell from tour due to a terrible POS vehicle so I'm reminding you guys about my videogame cover album for sale at cdbaby. (http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/briandavis3) Even if you don't want to purchase one you can still stop by to preview the tunes. Thanks for your time. Current Music: Minus the Bear (Comment on this)
Thursday, July 7th, 2005
10:45 pm	Nowadays we're all numbers So fess up Which one of yous put this bomb in the heart...? Who splashed me in the face while I was behind the wheel? I wiped my eyes once only to be blinded again in seconds I reach for the cigs on the dash to dull the disaster While not looking forward and putting myslef at risk of a potential wreck No collision is greater than this Sweety??? No no no That cannot be You've lost all taste for sweets after you were fed stale doubts Fuck this tightrope that's left of the bridge I smuggled that welcome sign Almost home now; face just about dry Realized everything is just moments sculpted into memories We've all got numbers We all become just numbers Current Mood: blank Current Music: 7/7/2005, 10:44 PM, U.S.A., 68 degrees, Overcast/Rain, (Comment on this)
Friday, July 1st, 2005
10:09 am	"I wanna cry but I gotta laugh." I'm going to write thoughts and what not in a real journal for awhile if not for good. I leave in one week now for one month. It feels like I'm slowly fading out of one life and into another. All it is, is just growing up. I think this explains my strange attitude: Realizing that people you truly love can turn on you has made me a harder person. I think. I'm trying to crawl in the heads of just about everyone. After out last encounter i realized, walking up the hill, that I haven't walked that slow in quite a while. Perhaps forever. I'm unimaginably sorry. No more of everything from me... ...for you. You know it's what you want. Just tell me. Current Music: Heart (Comment on this)
Sunday, June 26th, 2005
1:59 pm	One more thing.... To everyone that I'm in a band with or have ever been in a band with (Excluding the Eichmann project): I'm getting to the point where I'm about to make sacrifices to basically become KNOWN for my fucking talents. I've been hiding to long. List of things that commonly hold us back: 1. Girlfriends 2. School 3. Jobs 4. Money If you're not ready than too bad. We only get this chance once and (not to sound cocky) I KNOW that I can make it happen. If not with u's than on my own. Truth is a bitch sometimes but I'm sick of being stuck and waiting on others to catch up. That's how it feels right now. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
12:08 pm	I am.... ..not doing well. Nope. These last few days have sunken in and have taken their toll on me. Such magical moments... It is sad because they won't last ever again it feels. I feel myself loosing a large part of...myself. This is pretty bad knowing that someone will always be there for you...to hurt you. If you never wanted to...than don't do it. I've been shutting out a lot of people. Sorry. That's just the way I fucking am. I leave to go on tour in two weeks. I'm dreading it. (Comment on this)
Friday, June 3rd, 2005
11:22 am	Birthday Party Mark yo calenders. SATURDAY JUNE 18TH there will be a birthday bash at my place. It was originally gonna be a party for Craig, Jimmy, Sean, and myself but now it's for basically anyone that has a June birthday. So bring the pain. It shall be amazing. Current Music: Rush (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 24th, 2005
12:02 pm	I've said it before: Love is a curse. All of you in love....you're cursed. Be ready. (Comment on this)
Monday, April 25th, 2005
12:30 am	Just so you know.... Someone has to tell everyone: Things Fall Apart has offically called it quits. (Like I said this has been the worst winter in the history of the world.) But actually I'm pretty happy about it. But what I'm greatly dissapointed in is Andrews reaction. He was actually the one who said that he was done. He found out that my new band (with Dave and Kyle from TFA) played a show that TFA was gonna do. The reason we suggested not to do it is simply bc we were out of practice and we pretty much weren't talking to each other. We all knew that there has been a great discomfort with the band for some time too. The thing that really peeved me was the fact that he had to come over and bitch me out like a child in front of the roomies. Than he called Jimmy back to apoligize to the roomies for the outburst then told me to "eat shit and die." I laughed out loud after he left. I can't believe him. I'm glad I don't have to work with him again. P.S. hardcore is dead. It is no longer a form of art. I've just decided that when this new band picks up that I'm gonna try and quit smoking for GOOD. It'll be easier now since I'm the only one now that does it. I have a feeling we're gonna get mad chicks in this band. Ha ha...sweet. I also feel like a have a rather large list of people I have to make peace with. Maybe not huge. But it seems that way. Perhaps peace isn't possible. I dunno. It's way to early to think about resolving issues with certain people in this life. The beat goes on. Current Mood: thoughtful Current Music: Nuetral Milk Hotel (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, April 13th, 2005
12:30 am	AWWWWWW SHIT!!! There goes the fucking neighborhood. Current Mood: pissed off (Comment on this)
Wednesday, April 6th, 2005
11:36 am	WE all FALL down.... Dude I swear to you these past weeks have been my downfall. Last night my cd recorder broke. No not the kind that everyone has on their PC. This is a rack mount kind that can record in real time. I.e. I NEED it to put my music onto cd. And guess what...they don't make these anymore. I feel like a painter with no canvas. I'm sure you're all thinking that I'm exagerating. But I'm not. This is big to me. I've been doing this for fucking years and now I have to stop? What the hell? I can see the shadow of someones foot slowly growing around me. I'm sure there's something else out there but chances are it isn't expensive. I can't afford much right now and probably not for a while. I don't know what to do. (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, April 3rd, 2005
3:50 pm	Bel Biv Devo The cool thing about when a band breaks up is that the songs that you've made live on forever. I like that. It's like a documention of the progress you made at the time. When it comes to couples breaking up you usually try and forget about everything. Sucks don't it. Last night Dan Pizza was the fucking dude of the hour. I was having a pretty shitty day. After work I went downstairs to grab a bite and chilled with all the roomies. (All except one) Dan was wasted and offered to make me a white russian. I was like "fuck yeah!" and he made me like 4. Then out of nowhere Dan busted out this Nair for men stick. You rub it on and it basically melts the hair off your skin. He did it to his arm and it worked great. Than he tried his head.....and it looked like he just barley escaped a burning building. I have to admit it was damn funny. After that we ate chinese, drank champagne, and figured out heart songs. That sounds like a line from a song or something but it's true. Current Mood: awake Current Music: Echidna's Arf - Zappa (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, March 31st, 2005
2:30 am	Buh? I can honestly say that this has been the worst god damn winter ever. I'm just glad that it is just about over. I feel like I'm surrounded by all kinds of shit and I cannot fight it off. Man sometimes it's just hard to say the things you need to say. I guess I'll know when the time is right. I fear the future, that is, the futures of other people. I worry for certain others out there. You can never predict.....you can never make plans.... Think about it. Nothing ever happens the way we want it to. Good or bad. It's just the way life is. I grow to accept this fact more and more every day. Life is nothing more then about living in the NOW. If you think about the future, you worry. You worry that if your "plan" fails than you're fucked and you start to beat yourself up because it feels like you've lost control. How much control do we really have? How much do we want? Who knows. I guess we're all different. But we never have as much as we think we do. (Not religious) As the years progress more and more people seem to fade away. It's no ones fault really. We all have our own lives to take care of. We all have to be selfish...to a point. We must all take a look in the mirror and observe what we see. Stop thinking about the fucking future. What you think will happen won't. Just go out there and live. I like this line the best from that Modest Mouse song. "The moths beat themselves to death against the lights." It's kind of sad. But truthful....saying that sometimes we search for something we can never have. Or maybe sometimes we just don't know when to stop and try to stive for something else, something better. And when we don't, it turns out to be a disaster. I'm telling you, winter is an evil season. If I could, I'd move all my friends and myself to fucking Cuba or something. I feel as if I will never find joy in a snowflake ever again. Never thought I'd say that. "Push on and soar higher." gnite Current Mood: aggravated Current Music: Brian Eno (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, March 28th, 2005
11:34 pm	P.S. PLEASE just stay out of my life. It's the only way I can move on. (Comment on this)
10:50 am	MMMmmmm k So for those of you that do not know Sarah and I are finally no more. I vowed to never see her again as well. I simply can't. She treated my heart like a dodge ball. She is no friend and is too selfish with her own life to have anything at all for that matter. Yeah I'm a bitter bastard but I have good reason to be. I basically got "It's not you it's me." thing. What the fuck. I remember she told me that, then that same night she came over and told me everything that I DID do wrong for her. Seriously the most demanding person I've ever been in a relationship with. What really pissed me off the most was that she said that I was headed nowhere with my life. God damn. You have a way with your honesty, but that's your fucking problem. Sorry not everyone can't be like you. (Thank Jesus they can't) BTW I'm writing this out so I can realize why I made the decision I made. You fucking girls are so god damn crazy. You know who you are. And then your disease spreads to us dudes. I seriously can feel myself turning into the scum I always resented. (I.E. fuck relationships but 'fuck' women. Know what I mean?) I never wanted to be that way. But I just feel...hopeless. One good thing did come out of this though. I've written some of the best damn lyrics in a while. So my world of pain has once returned. But this time is the last time. Promiss. It's time I catch up with the people that matter. Current Mood: Bitter and than some ;) Current Music: MAE (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, March 22nd, 2005
10:37 am	Man, this song basically sums up my thoughts in life right now: Ice-age heat wave, can't complain. If the world's at large, why should I remain? Walked away to another plan. Gonna find another place, maybe one I can stand. I move on to another day, to a whole new town with a whole new way. Went to the porch to have a thought. Got to the door and again, I couldn’t stop. You don’t know where and you don’t know when. But you still got your words and you got your friends. Walk along to another day. Work a little harder, work another way. Well uh-uh baby I ain’t got no plan. We’ll float maybe would you understand? Gonna float on maybe would you understand? Well float on maybe would you understand? The days get shorter and the nights get cold. I like the autumn but this place is getting old. I pack up my belongings and I head for the coast. It might not be a lot but I feel like I’m making the most. The days get longer and the nights smell green. I guess it’s not surprising but its spring and I should leave. I like songs about drifter-books about the same. They both seem to make me feel a little less insane. Walked on off to another spot. I still haven’t got anywhere that I want. Did I want love? Did I need to know? Why does it always fell like I’m caught in an undertow? The moths beat themselves to death against the lights. Adding their breeze to the summer nights. Outside, water like air was great. I didn’t know what I had that day. Walk a little farther to another plan. You said that you did, but you didn’t understand. I know that starting over is not what life’s about. But my thoughts were so loud I couldn’t hear my mouth. My thoughts were so loud. Current Mood: shit-riffic Current Music: (You're reading it) (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, February 25th, 2005
8:27 pm	New Music I folded an started a Myspace account. Mainly cuz I can post my songs easily. So check it out. http://www.myspace.com/videoofpeopledying (Comment on this)